Eminem: The Conundrum of our Aging Relationship

The first moment I realized I loved Rap, I was possibly doing the whitest thing ever. It was the summer of 2000, I was 10 years old - about to enter 4th grade, and I was at sleep away camp. Some kid, who clearly had less strict parents than mine, had somehow procured the holy grail: Eminem's The Marshall Mathers LP. Immediately I was hooked. Was it the beat, the rhyming, the fucked up shit Em was saying about killing his wife? I don't know. What I do know is that I came back from camp that summer singing the same vulgar line on repeat: "If you don't like my shit then you can suck my dick, cus I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick."

As you may imagine this did't go over so well with my father who, face turning crimson, almost choked on his own neck in exasperation. And to think my parents thought camp would be a good influence on me. Two short years later, I duped my mom into buying me the uncensored version of The Eminem Show by covering the Parental Advisory sticker with a strategically placed right thumb. Alas, hubris got the best of me and I decided to play the CD, in the car, with my dad. Two hours later he had snapped it over his knee and put it in the garbage.

It seemed so cruel and unfair. Couldn't they see this was art?! And yet the other day, in the wake of my 24th birthday I started thinking: what will I do when I have kids? How will I share my love of Eminem with them? Will I be forced to play them the (gasp) Censored version?! (cue Bach's funeral fugue)...

But really, the problem extends beyond Eminem and it will affect all of us. So many of my friends love Hip Hip, and like all the things we love, whether it be baseball or hot melty swiss cheese (don't even ask - stream of consciousness) we will want to share those glorious things with our kids. The question is how and when? My father had the convenience of teaching me to sing the songs of his favorite band from Liverpool without even a second thought. In fact, I was singing Beatles songs before I learned how to speak properly. But while I was singing "I want to hold your hand" my kids would be singing "Bitches Aint Shit."

Luckily as I said, I'm only 24 and there is a ways to go until this is even an issue. Still though, what do you guys think? Have you any advice for a much beleaguered and soon to be uber adult white suburban male? Thanks in advance.